Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I really appreciate it. When I have the time, I might go back and make some changes here and there but it's not high on my list of things to do.
you had some inconsistencies, for one the snow level from the beginning was a lot higher, presumingly written before you knew about LA and snow.
I may have exaggerated the amount of snow slightly, but the possibilities of snow in L.A is not as far-fetched as you may think. If I may direct you to (http://www.laalmanac.com/weather/we17.htm), and (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-cold18jan18,0,1404930.story?coll=la-home-headlines) you will see that it has, in fact, snowed several times. Granted, it wasn't much, and it didn't stay long, but the point is, it did snow. And if it happened in the past, who is to say that it can't happen in a fictitious present?
Hell, one of the ladies of my F-list just reported getting snow, and she lives in Phoenix, Arizona! So, yeah, I think it is in the realm of possibilities.
Second was how they acted and indeed how active they were. On the couch, off the couch, on the couch and so on.
As it's been a long time since I wrote this, I'm a little fuzzy on the details here. I'll have to go back and check. *^-^*
I'm also not sure if Leon could hear Chris
Actually, yes, Leon can hear Chris. But he is one of the only people who can outside of D and his pets.
Again, thanks for reviewing! So few people actually give constructive criticism. I would like to think that over time I will improve in my writing and characterization skills. *^-^*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-01-22 04:56 pm (UTC)you had some inconsistencies, for one the snow level from the beginning was a lot higher, presumingly written before you knew about LA and snow.
I may have exaggerated the amount of snow slightly, but the possibilities of snow in L.A is not as far-fetched as you may think. If I may direct you to (http://www.laalmanac.com/weather/we17.htm), and (http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-cold18jan18,0,1404930.story?coll=la-home-headlines) you will see that it has, in fact, snowed several times. Granted, it wasn't much, and it didn't stay long, but the point is, it did snow. And if it happened in the past, who is to say that it can't happen in a fictitious present?
Hell, one of the ladies of my F-list just reported getting snow, and she lives in Phoenix, Arizona! So, yeah, I think it is in the realm of possibilities.
Second was how they acted and indeed how active they were. On the couch, off the couch, on the couch and so on.
As it's been a long time since I wrote this, I'm a little fuzzy on the details here. I'll have to go back and check. *^-^*
I'm also not sure if Leon could hear Chris
Actually, yes, Leon can hear Chris. But he is one of the only people who can outside of D and his pets.
Again, thanks for reviewing! So few people actually give constructive criticism. I would like to think that over time I will improve in my writing and characterization skills. *^-^*