Green Fields of France - Gundam Wing
Sep. 30th, 2004 10:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yellowhordeDisclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and I make no money from this or any other story I write
Pairings: 2+5, 5+S, 2+C, 3x4(implied)
Category: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, Death
Title: Green Fields of France
Author: yellowhorde
The brown haired man rushed through the glass entrance that lead into the hospitable, his long chestnut braid streaming behind him. Once inside, he paused to orientate himself. Filling his lungs to capacity in one deep inhalation, the slender man closed his violet eyes and slowly released his breath through his lips. This helped to calm him somewhat. Now was not the time to panic. Losing his cool would not help him deal with this nightmare any better...
(I've certainly been in my share of hospitable. The layout should probably be the same, or so I would imagine.)
The man opened his eyes and scanned the floor. It was all white, barren, antiseptic. Empty.
Cool white tile stretched out as far as he could see, gleaming with what appeared to be a fresh coat of wax. The floors looked almost wet, but he saw no evidence of those little yellow caution signs. So he could be wrong on that. Still, just the same, he would be sure to walk very carefully.
The hall was just like any of the countless other hospitals he had been in, either on Earth or up in the colonies. He should have felt comforted, but he didn't. He hated this place. He hated being here, needing to be here.
With another deep breath, the man started to walk down the corridor until he approached what looked like the nurse's station. One woman sat in a leather seat behind a desk buried under mounds of paper work, files and used Styrofoam cups with rings of dried coffee in the bottom. Tiny packets of artificial sweeteners lay scattered about looking absurd and VERY pink amongst all that white mess.
(Hmm... Reminds me of, well, ME...)
Sensing his presence, the nurse looked up from her reports. Her hair, a very dark brown, almost black, was long and pulled back in a ponytail that hung limply over her shoulder. She face was pale and her eyes were gray, like storm clouds gathered over the ocean. She had dark smudges under her eyes and she looked very tired. Still, she managed to smile cheerfully at the tall, handsome stranger that stood before her.
"How may I help you, sir?" Her voice was alto and held a very slight French accent. No wonder, since they were in France.
"I am looking for whatever room Trowa Barton is currently staying in, please."
He managed to give the nurse a faint smile, nice enough, but a ghost of his former grin. He just hadn't felt a lot like smiling over the past few years and he was out of practice. It was a real pity.
"Barton, hmmm...Barton...."
Her desk may have looked like a disaster area, but the young nurse had no trouble locating some sort of three ring binder from under the multiple stacks of papers that appeared ready to collapse at the slightest puff of air. Much to his amazement, the lopsided tower of papers remained standing.
"Ah! Here it is..." She flipped through its pages. She frowned and flipped through some more. "Now that's odd... Let me check the computer..."
She swiveled around and started typing on the keyboard. The white light the screen cast on her face was very harsh. It did nothing to flatter her pleasant features. But she didn't seem to mind. Her fingers flew over the keys, searching, searching for the requested information. And not finding it.
"I'm sorry, sir!" She began as she turned to face the man who had waited patiently at her desk. "My information says that a Trowa Barton was checked out this morning."
"But...but that can't be...! I was told that he was here. I - I - Then where could he be?"
He planted his hands squarely on the desk, not slamming, but darn close. Had he gotten his information mixed up? NO! He had been certain. He had written it down himself, even asked for it to be repeated. Still, be that as it may, Trowa was not here.
"Damn it!"
"Duo!"
A familiar voice came from down the hallway. A slender woman with thick, wavy brown hair that hung about her shoulders was hurrying towards him. She wore a pale yellow long sleeved shirt with a square neckline and a purple pleated skirt that belled out about her knees as she approached, waving her hand in the air.
"Catherine? Catherine Bloom? Is that really you?"
Duo was so glad to see a familiar face in this damned place. He smiled and it was much closer to what it had been so many years ago. It lit up his solemn face, making his amethyst eyes dance. As his old friend came within reach, he wrapped his arms around her in a fierce hug, swinging her about in delight, laughing.
"Oh, I have missed you so much!" He breathed happily in her ear just before putting the woman back down on her feet.
Catherine wobbled unsteadily on her feet for a moment; caught off guard by the exuberant greeting and the intense wash of feelings that threatened to engulf her. She exhaled shakily and her face was flushed, her eyes twinkling. Her heart fluttered in her chest for standing right before her after so many years was the boy whom she had secretly loved oh so long ago.
The brunette took Duo's two hands into her own and she gazed up into his beautiful eyes.
"My, you sure have gotten tall since I last saw you!" She exclaimed in wonder.
Duo Maxwell had indeed! He used to be, what? An inch or two above five feet? But that had been when he had been fifteen, sixteen years old. Now Duo stood approximately six feet tall. He had also filled out in the chest and shoulders, gaining a little weight, but not really that much. He was still rather thin. His rich brown hair was still worn in the old familiar braid, but now it hung almost to his knees. No, he still didn't believe in cutting his hair much.
But the biggest change had not been physical. Duo gorgeous eyes were somehow haunted, filled with more sorrow than anyone should have to bear. As he gazed down at Catherine, she knew that the last few years had been very difficult for the former pilot of Deathscythe.
Another drastic change was his smile, or lack of smile. Duo used to have the largest, most contagious grin she had ever seen. He had always been so full of bounce and spirit. Now, when he smiled, it was a very watered down version of his former one.
The loss of that precious smile hurt Catherine deep in her heart. She longed to take the American into her arms. To comfort him, to sooth his soul. To whisper sweet nothings into his ears and to tell him that everything would be all right. But things were not all right. Her brother, Duo's friend and former co-pilot, was dying. Nothing would ever be all right. Not ever again.
Duo's smile faded from his face to be replaced by a concerned frown.
"Catherine, where is Trowa? The nurse told me that he was checked out of the hospitable this morning. Is this true?"
Catherine pulled her hands gently away from the man before her. She clasped them together and averted her face just slightly as if trying to hide the glimmer of tears that danced in her large eyes.
"It's true. The doctors can do nothing for Trowa now. He didn't want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines or respirators. So, finally, they allowed me to take him home this morning."
She looked back towards Duo; her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She held her eyes wide, unblinking. She was not going to cry, no, not here, not now.
Her voice hitched in her throat and she was unable to stifle the sob that wracked her slender form. She fell into Duo's arms suddenly and then the tears did flow, they fell down her smooth cheeks like a waterfall, so fast, so furious that she trembled from head to toe. The tears fell and dampened her secret love's red polo shirt.
(Red...? I've never seen you in anything but black...Looks good on you though...)
For a moment, Duo was startled by the fierceness of her outburst. He held himself stiff, arms held to his side as the woman sobbed out her misery. He chided himself for his stupidity.
Catherine had been by her brother's side all these months. She had seen his deterioration. Watched him dying, unable to help him, unable to save him. There was nothing the doctors could do. It had been a rare form of leukemia. Trowa had desperately needed a complete blood transfusion. But a suitable donor had not been found until much too late. Six short months after diagnosis and now he was dying...
No wonder she had finally broken down. It had simply become too much for her to bear. It was not easy to watch a loved one dying by inches. To look on and know that you were helpless, powerless to do anything, to change the inevitable outcome.
Finally, Duo wrapped his arms about the crying Catherine. He stroked her silky hair reassuringly and whispered sweet words of comfort as he kissed her gently on top of her bowed head. He drank in the fresh scent of her hair. He comforted her as best as he could.
But the words he murmured were not just for her, but for him as well. It didn't matter that everything he said was a lie. It had to be done. They would take solace in that lie.
Everything would be all right...don't cry...things would turn out well in the end.
Lies! Damned lies! How he hated to have to lie to her, to himself like this!
After an eternity, Catherine managed to get control of herself. She dug through her purse until she found a small packet of tissues. She silently offered one to Duo and he gratefully accepted. The woman took a deep shuddering breath and forced it through her lips. Now that she had control, she felt kind of embarrassed about her outburst. But Duo didn't seem to care that she had unloaded her emotional burden on him.
He smiled gently at her as if he understood how she felt perfectly. Maybe he did. He had after all lost three of his best friends and fellow Gundam pilots over the last ten years. Now he was about to lose another.
(No, I'm sure he knows exactly how I feel... Probably better than anyone else in the whole world.)
"Now, let's go see Trowa." Catherine took Duo's hand and led him out of the silent hospitable.
*****
As they roared down the paved road, Duo sat silently, seat belt fastened securely, all the while watching the beautiful country side flashing by outside his open window, his long bangs blowing crazily in the resulting wind.
The world was full of green and the air was a beautiful gold as the sun made it's steady way towards the distant horizon. He could see lush valleys filled with grazing sheep looking like tiny balls of cotton strung out carelessly over the massive expanse of green fields. Large hills rose majestically off in the distance, dotted here and there by clumps of trees. They had even had to stop on occasion to allow a few small boys herd their geese across the narrow road. Duo watched it all with an avid interest.
It was, in a word, peaceful
He had been kind of surprised when he had seen Catherine's car. It was one of those old style Volkswagen beetle's that had been so popular at the turn of the 21st century. They had obviously been making a comeback over these last few years. Still, he had to admit that the small yellow car with it's sunroof - or did they call them moon roofs, now? - wide open was rather cute and perfectly suited Trowa's sister's personality.
Warm, friendly and full of pep. Not to mention just as cute as could be.
He squashed that notion quickly. No need to go there.
The American pilot smiled stupidly at nothing in particular. It was good to be with someone he had grown to care for, after all these years alone. He had never gotten married, never settled down. The only one he had really cared for had loved another.
The memory of his beloved Chang Wufei standing side by side with his new bride, Sally Po, looking happy and perfectly content flashed through Duo's mind. He pushed it away angrily. The braided boy had had his chance and he had blown it big time. If he had only come out and told the Chinese pilot of Shenlong how he had felt maybe things would have been different. Maybe Wufei would still be alive today if he had had some guts.
(I wish I had told him how I felt!)
Well, yeah... 'If wishes were fishes we'd all cast our nets.' Or something along those lines. He sighed heavily and returned to staring at the scenery.
Suddenly, Duo became aware that Catherine had been speaking and he had not caught a word of it!
(Snap out of it, Duo! Let's not let your mind wander too much.)
Sheepishly, he mumbled, "I'm sorry...Could you repeat that last bit? I didn't catch it."
Catherine glanced over from her driving. She had not been aware that the one time soldier who had once called himself the God of Death had been wool gathering. Fortune had finally smiled down on Duo for change.
"I said that after Quatre's death four years ago, Trowa returned to France to be with me. I am his last remaining family, after all. He'd been working in the circus. You know, helping me with my act." She grinned. "I throw the knives and he just stands there like some sitting duck. He never even blinks - not once. Not even that time my aim was off and I knifed him! Ha! Talk about nerves of steel! If I had been in his position I would have been PISSED!"
She paused for a moment, then laughed sweetly. The sound sent tremors coursing through Duo's empty heart.
"Then again, I would never have let someone tie me up to some large bull's eye and throw sharp objects at me!"
(Of course, his heart just wasn't in it, anymore. It's like he wanted to die. He missed Quatre so much. His heart had been in so much pain; he just wasn't able to cope, not really. It was like he was dead inside and his body and mind just didn't know it yet.)
Catherine's last spoken content earned a startled laugh from the braided man. He had been blissfully unawares of her deepest thoughts and she had managed to mask he facial expression.
Duo suddenly noticed that they were slowing down. Catherine carefully pulled into a long gravel drive way. Some distance up the way was a large two story Victorian house with a wrap around porch with a Glider nestled in one corner. The house was painted yellow with white trim. Very cheerful, very homey.
Large maple trees and many others of undetermined name and origin surrounded it. There was a large expanse of garden, now in full bloom. There were all kinds of plants and shrubs and flowers, but the only ones Duo recognized on sight were the lilacs and the roses. Duo did not grow flowers. He had a brown thumb. Leave the gardening to the experts. That was his motto. And obviously, Catherine was an expert!
The very sight took his breath away. It was just too beautiful, too perfect.
"Oh, wow! Pinch me, I must be dreaming! Did you do all this, Catherine?"
Catherine smiled at the obvious awe in the pilot's voice.
"Yes, I did it all on my own, with some help from Trowa. Well, actually quite a bit of help. You may be surprised to hear this, but my brother is an excellent gardener! He can grow anything! The man has a green thumb, that is for sure!"
She stepped out of the door and went to retrieve Duo's luggage from the trunk.
"Let's get you settled in, shall we? I have the spare bedroom all ready for you!"
*****
Duo gasped, a sharp inhalation of breath that tore at his throat like a sob, at the sight that was before his eyes. He had known that Trowa had been ill for some time, known that the former pilot had been dying. Still, he did not feel particularly prepared for what his eyes were seeing. His mind simply refused to process the information.
It was a mistake, an optical illusion! That simply could not be Trowa! That was so not the silent pilot of Heavyarms! No way! It was a trick, a cruel, evil, horrible trick!
Without even fully realizing it, Duo felt the tiny prick in the back of his eyes that meant he was about to start crying. But his mind recognized the feeling and started to protest mightily.
(No, NO! I will not cry! I will NOT cry! I won't! I will be strong! I have to be strong!)
But even as his mind screamed at him to stop, tears pooled in his lilac colored eyes. He shook his head and savagely blinked them away.
The wasted form of a man that lay listlessly on the full sized bed was indeed the pilot of few words, Trowa Barton. But not the one that Duo had known all those years ago. No, that boy had been strong, silently passionate. Healthy, alive, full of the love he had shared with his beloved Arabian friend, Quatre Raberba Winner.
The body before him now was a skeleton, skin yellowed and shrunken in. Bones protruded sharply where clothes or blanket did not cover him. Skeleton hands lay limply at his side. Every bone painfully in evidence. Once thick glorious hair and long bangs that had once hidden half of the boy's face was gone, replaced by a few dry, straggling strands that hung limp and lifelessly against a face that was a merely a skull wrapped in skin. Trowa's eyes, now mercifully closed, were so sunken into that ghastly face that they appeared to be permanently shadowed.
This could not be Trowa! And yet, there was no doubt. None whatsoever.
Silently, Catherine padded into the room and gracefully folded herself into an overstuffed recliner that was besides the bed. She reached out and brushed one thin, ruined lock of hair out of her brother's face. Carefully, as if afraid to break or damage, she took one of he brother's skeletal hands into her own. For a moment she held on, struggling for composure.
"Trowa." she called gently, "Trowa, can you hear me? You have a visitor... Please... Duo has come to say... hello."
She had almost said, "Duo had come to say good bye", but she stopped herself just in time. They both knew he wouldn't last much longer. But why say it out loud? Better to ignore the fact. Better to lie, to ignore the truth, to pretend.
Trowa's sister glanced over at Duo who stood rooted in the open doorway to that cheerfully decorated, terribly depressing room. He could not bring himself to move any closer. She nodded her head and jerked in the direction of the man on the bed, clearly indicating that Duo should come over.
Duo forced himself to move across the room, his footsteps stiff, jerky. The heels of the boots he wore rung dully against the wooden floor, almost seeming to echo. The sound was too loud, seemed out of place in this room that smelled of impending doom, of imamate Death. He finally managed to reach the bedside without fainting or making too much a fool of himself.
(Get a hold of yourself, man. This is Trowa! Not some weird dried up mummy! It's Trowa, and you better get a grip on yourself. Your falling apart won't help him feel any better about what he is going through! So just get a grip! Oh! His eyes! Their opening!)
Indeed they were opening. Duo gazed deep into those green orbs and was relieved that Trowa's eyes had remained the same. He still had the most beautiful pair of emerald eyes that Duo had ever seen. With a tiny sigh of relief Duo down at his fellow pilot. He even managed to smile, really smile.
"Hey, Trowa! Long time no see, man! How are you doing?"
The skeleton that was Trowa managed a faint smile, a bare tilting at the corner of his mouth. But his eyes danced almost merrily. He tried to speak, but was unable to find his voice.
He gave it another go and was able to croak out a barely audible, "Okay."
That one little word had cost a great deal of effort. Still, he knew he was rapidly running out of time. He did his best to ease the minds of the two people in his room.
"Good...to see... you."
Suddenly, his eyes flickered into the direction of the distant corner. They widened slightly with shock and... Happiness. The weak Trowa somehow managed a real smile.
"Quatre...!"
The word was barely a whisper, but so full of love and adoration, it pulled at the hearts of both Catherine and Duo. They exchanged a quick glance. Trowa's time had apparently run out.
"Quatre...I...missed you so...much..."
Trowa seemed to listen for a few moments, his head cocked to one side in intent concentration. There was a long silence, then, Trowa spoke the last words anyone would ever hear him say.
"Y-yes...I'm ready to go...with...you."
Those beautiful green eyes fluttered closed and Trowa's breath was released from his body with a tired sigh. Slowly, his head lolled to one side, his few remaining strands of hair falling into his face. His chest never rose to take in another life sustaining breath. He had gone, hopefully to where he could be together with his true love.
Had Quatre really been in the room in that last moment? Who could really say? But Duo hoped with all his heart that it might be so. Yes, it must have been so. He believed, believed with all his mind, body and soul. Trowa and Quatre were together again, this time for all eternity.
Duo crossed over to where Catherine was sitting. He knelt besides her and wrapped his strong arms about her. She buried her head into his chest. Her throat worked convulsively a few times.
"He's really gone..." was all she managed to say before the knowledge finally registered.
Her grief spilled forth and she released her hot tears, but not for the last time, oh no, not for the last time.
"I know..." Duo's grip tightened slightly and his own tears streamed hot down his face to fall on the bowed head of the woman in his arms. "I'm so sorry.... Catherine..."
CHAPTER TWO
Pairings: 2+5, 5+S, 2+C, 3x4(implied)
Category: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, Death
Title: Green Fields of France
Author: yellowhorde
The brown haired man rushed through the glass entrance that lead into the hospitable, his long chestnut braid streaming behind him. Once inside, he paused to orientate himself. Filling his lungs to capacity in one deep inhalation, the slender man closed his violet eyes and slowly released his breath through his lips. This helped to calm him somewhat. Now was not the time to panic. Losing his cool would not help him deal with this nightmare any better...
(I've certainly been in my share of hospitable. The layout should probably be the same, or so I would imagine.)
The man opened his eyes and scanned the floor. It was all white, barren, antiseptic. Empty.
Cool white tile stretched out as far as he could see, gleaming with what appeared to be a fresh coat of wax. The floors looked almost wet, but he saw no evidence of those little yellow caution signs. So he could be wrong on that. Still, just the same, he would be sure to walk very carefully.
The hall was just like any of the countless other hospitals he had been in, either on Earth or up in the colonies. He should have felt comforted, but he didn't. He hated this place. He hated being here, needing to be here.
With another deep breath, the man started to walk down the corridor until he approached what looked like the nurse's station. One woman sat in a leather seat behind a desk buried under mounds of paper work, files and used Styrofoam cups with rings of dried coffee in the bottom. Tiny packets of artificial sweeteners lay scattered about looking absurd and VERY pink amongst all that white mess.
(Hmm... Reminds me of, well, ME...)
Sensing his presence, the nurse looked up from her reports. Her hair, a very dark brown, almost black, was long and pulled back in a ponytail that hung limply over her shoulder. She face was pale and her eyes were gray, like storm clouds gathered over the ocean. She had dark smudges under her eyes and she looked very tired. Still, she managed to smile cheerfully at the tall, handsome stranger that stood before her.
"How may I help you, sir?" Her voice was alto and held a very slight French accent. No wonder, since they were in France.
"I am looking for whatever room Trowa Barton is currently staying in, please."
He managed to give the nurse a faint smile, nice enough, but a ghost of his former grin. He just hadn't felt a lot like smiling over the past few years and he was out of practice. It was a real pity.
"Barton, hmmm...Barton...."
Her desk may have looked like a disaster area, but the young nurse had no trouble locating some sort of three ring binder from under the multiple stacks of papers that appeared ready to collapse at the slightest puff of air. Much to his amazement, the lopsided tower of papers remained standing.
"Ah! Here it is..." She flipped through its pages. She frowned and flipped through some more. "Now that's odd... Let me check the computer..."
She swiveled around and started typing on the keyboard. The white light the screen cast on her face was very harsh. It did nothing to flatter her pleasant features. But she didn't seem to mind. Her fingers flew over the keys, searching, searching for the requested information. And not finding it.
"I'm sorry, sir!" She began as she turned to face the man who had waited patiently at her desk. "My information says that a Trowa Barton was checked out this morning."
"But...but that can't be...! I was told that he was here. I - I - Then where could he be?"
He planted his hands squarely on the desk, not slamming, but darn close. Had he gotten his information mixed up? NO! He had been certain. He had written it down himself, even asked for it to be repeated. Still, be that as it may, Trowa was not here.
"Damn it!"
"Duo!"
A familiar voice came from down the hallway. A slender woman with thick, wavy brown hair that hung about her shoulders was hurrying towards him. She wore a pale yellow long sleeved shirt with a square neckline and a purple pleated skirt that belled out about her knees as she approached, waving her hand in the air.
"Catherine? Catherine Bloom? Is that really you?"
Duo was so glad to see a familiar face in this damned place. He smiled and it was much closer to what it had been so many years ago. It lit up his solemn face, making his amethyst eyes dance. As his old friend came within reach, he wrapped his arms around her in a fierce hug, swinging her about in delight, laughing.
"Oh, I have missed you so much!" He breathed happily in her ear just before putting the woman back down on her feet.
Catherine wobbled unsteadily on her feet for a moment; caught off guard by the exuberant greeting and the intense wash of feelings that threatened to engulf her. She exhaled shakily and her face was flushed, her eyes twinkling. Her heart fluttered in her chest for standing right before her after so many years was the boy whom she had secretly loved oh so long ago.
The brunette took Duo's two hands into her own and she gazed up into his beautiful eyes.
"My, you sure have gotten tall since I last saw you!" She exclaimed in wonder.
Duo Maxwell had indeed! He used to be, what? An inch or two above five feet? But that had been when he had been fifteen, sixteen years old. Now Duo stood approximately six feet tall. He had also filled out in the chest and shoulders, gaining a little weight, but not really that much. He was still rather thin. His rich brown hair was still worn in the old familiar braid, but now it hung almost to his knees. No, he still didn't believe in cutting his hair much.
But the biggest change had not been physical. Duo gorgeous eyes were somehow haunted, filled with more sorrow than anyone should have to bear. As he gazed down at Catherine, she knew that the last few years had been very difficult for the former pilot of Deathscythe.
Another drastic change was his smile, or lack of smile. Duo used to have the largest, most contagious grin she had ever seen. He had always been so full of bounce and spirit. Now, when he smiled, it was a very watered down version of his former one.
The loss of that precious smile hurt Catherine deep in her heart. She longed to take the American into her arms. To comfort him, to sooth his soul. To whisper sweet nothings into his ears and to tell him that everything would be all right. But things were not all right. Her brother, Duo's friend and former co-pilot, was dying. Nothing would ever be all right. Not ever again.
Duo's smile faded from his face to be replaced by a concerned frown.
"Catherine, where is Trowa? The nurse told me that he was checked out of the hospitable this morning. Is this true?"
Catherine pulled her hands gently away from the man before her. She clasped them together and averted her face just slightly as if trying to hide the glimmer of tears that danced in her large eyes.
"It's true. The doctors can do nothing for Trowa now. He didn't want to be hooked up to a bunch of machines or respirators. So, finally, they allowed me to take him home this morning."
She looked back towards Duo; her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She held her eyes wide, unblinking. She was not going to cry, no, not here, not now.
Her voice hitched in her throat and she was unable to stifle the sob that wracked her slender form. She fell into Duo's arms suddenly and then the tears did flow, they fell down her smooth cheeks like a waterfall, so fast, so furious that she trembled from head to toe. The tears fell and dampened her secret love's red polo shirt.
(Red...? I've never seen you in anything but black...Looks good on you though...)
For a moment, Duo was startled by the fierceness of her outburst. He held himself stiff, arms held to his side as the woman sobbed out her misery. He chided himself for his stupidity.
Catherine had been by her brother's side all these months. She had seen his deterioration. Watched him dying, unable to help him, unable to save him. There was nothing the doctors could do. It had been a rare form of leukemia. Trowa had desperately needed a complete blood transfusion. But a suitable donor had not been found until much too late. Six short months after diagnosis and now he was dying...
No wonder she had finally broken down. It had simply become too much for her to bear. It was not easy to watch a loved one dying by inches. To look on and know that you were helpless, powerless to do anything, to change the inevitable outcome.
Finally, Duo wrapped his arms about the crying Catherine. He stroked her silky hair reassuringly and whispered sweet words of comfort as he kissed her gently on top of her bowed head. He drank in the fresh scent of her hair. He comforted her as best as he could.
But the words he murmured were not just for her, but for him as well. It didn't matter that everything he said was a lie. It had to be done. They would take solace in that lie.
Everything would be all right...don't cry...things would turn out well in the end.
Lies! Damned lies! How he hated to have to lie to her, to himself like this!
After an eternity, Catherine managed to get control of herself. She dug through her purse until she found a small packet of tissues. She silently offered one to Duo and he gratefully accepted. The woman took a deep shuddering breath and forced it through her lips. Now that she had control, she felt kind of embarrassed about her outburst. But Duo didn't seem to care that she had unloaded her emotional burden on him.
He smiled gently at her as if he understood how she felt perfectly. Maybe he did. He had after all lost three of his best friends and fellow Gundam pilots over the last ten years. Now he was about to lose another.
(No, I'm sure he knows exactly how I feel... Probably better than anyone else in the whole world.)
"Now, let's go see Trowa." Catherine took Duo's hand and led him out of the silent hospitable.
*****
As they roared down the paved road, Duo sat silently, seat belt fastened securely, all the while watching the beautiful country side flashing by outside his open window, his long bangs blowing crazily in the resulting wind.
The world was full of green and the air was a beautiful gold as the sun made it's steady way towards the distant horizon. He could see lush valleys filled with grazing sheep looking like tiny balls of cotton strung out carelessly over the massive expanse of green fields. Large hills rose majestically off in the distance, dotted here and there by clumps of trees. They had even had to stop on occasion to allow a few small boys herd their geese across the narrow road. Duo watched it all with an avid interest.
It was, in a word, peaceful
He had been kind of surprised when he had seen Catherine's car. It was one of those old style Volkswagen beetle's that had been so popular at the turn of the 21st century. They had obviously been making a comeback over these last few years. Still, he had to admit that the small yellow car with it's sunroof - or did they call them moon roofs, now? - wide open was rather cute and perfectly suited Trowa's sister's personality.
Warm, friendly and full of pep. Not to mention just as cute as could be.
He squashed that notion quickly. No need to go there.
The American pilot smiled stupidly at nothing in particular. It was good to be with someone he had grown to care for, after all these years alone. He had never gotten married, never settled down. The only one he had really cared for had loved another.
The memory of his beloved Chang Wufei standing side by side with his new bride, Sally Po, looking happy and perfectly content flashed through Duo's mind. He pushed it away angrily. The braided boy had had his chance and he had blown it big time. If he had only come out and told the Chinese pilot of Shenlong how he had felt maybe things would have been different. Maybe Wufei would still be alive today if he had had some guts.
(I wish I had told him how I felt!)
Well, yeah... 'If wishes were fishes we'd all cast our nets.' Or something along those lines. He sighed heavily and returned to staring at the scenery.
Suddenly, Duo became aware that Catherine had been speaking and he had not caught a word of it!
(Snap out of it, Duo! Let's not let your mind wander too much.)
Sheepishly, he mumbled, "I'm sorry...Could you repeat that last bit? I didn't catch it."
Catherine glanced over from her driving. She had not been aware that the one time soldier who had once called himself the God of Death had been wool gathering. Fortune had finally smiled down on Duo for change.
"I said that after Quatre's death four years ago, Trowa returned to France to be with me. I am his last remaining family, after all. He'd been working in the circus. You know, helping me with my act." She grinned. "I throw the knives and he just stands there like some sitting duck. He never even blinks - not once. Not even that time my aim was off and I knifed him! Ha! Talk about nerves of steel! If I had been in his position I would have been PISSED!"
She paused for a moment, then laughed sweetly. The sound sent tremors coursing through Duo's empty heart.
"Then again, I would never have let someone tie me up to some large bull's eye and throw sharp objects at me!"
(Of course, his heart just wasn't in it, anymore. It's like he wanted to die. He missed Quatre so much. His heart had been in so much pain; he just wasn't able to cope, not really. It was like he was dead inside and his body and mind just didn't know it yet.)
Catherine's last spoken content earned a startled laugh from the braided man. He had been blissfully unawares of her deepest thoughts and she had managed to mask he facial expression.
Duo suddenly noticed that they were slowing down. Catherine carefully pulled into a long gravel drive way. Some distance up the way was a large two story Victorian house with a wrap around porch with a Glider nestled in one corner. The house was painted yellow with white trim. Very cheerful, very homey.
Large maple trees and many others of undetermined name and origin surrounded it. There was a large expanse of garden, now in full bloom. There were all kinds of plants and shrubs and flowers, but the only ones Duo recognized on sight were the lilacs and the roses. Duo did not grow flowers. He had a brown thumb. Leave the gardening to the experts. That was his motto. And obviously, Catherine was an expert!
The very sight took his breath away. It was just too beautiful, too perfect.
"Oh, wow! Pinch me, I must be dreaming! Did you do all this, Catherine?"
Catherine smiled at the obvious awe in the pilot's voice.
"Yes, I did it all on my own, with some help from Trowa. Well, actually quite a bit of help. You may be surprised to hear this, but my brother is an excellent gardener! He can grow anything! The man has a green thumb, that is for sure!"
She stepped out of the door and went to retrieve Duo's luggage from the trunk.
"Let's get you settled in, shall we? I have the spare bedroom all ready for you!"
*****
Duo gasped, a sharp inhalation of breath that tore at his throat like a sob, at the sight that was before his eyes. He had known that Trowa had been ill for some time, known that the former pilot had been dying. Still, he did not feel particularly prepared for what his eyes were seeing. His mind simply refused to process the information.
It was a mistake, an optical illusion! That simply could not be Trowa! That was so not the silent pilot of Heavyarms! No way! It was a trick, a cruel, evil, horrible trick!
Without even fully realizing it, Duo felt the tiny prick in the back of his eyes that meant he was about to start crying. But his mind recognized the feeling and started to protest mightily.
(No, NO! I will not cry! I will NOT cry! I won't! I will be strong! I have to be strong!)
But even as his mind screamed at him to stop, tears pooled in his lilac colored eyes. He shook his head and savagely blinked them away.
The wasted form of a man that lay listlessly on the full sized bed was indeed the pilot of few words, Trowa Barton. But not the one that Duo had known all those years ago. No, that boy had been strong, silently passionate. Healthy, alive, full of the love he had shared with his beloved Arabian friend, Quatre Raberba Winner.
The body before him now was a skeleton, skin yellowed and shrunken in. Bones protruded sharply where clothes or blanket did not cover him. Skeleton hands lay limply at his side. Every bone painfully in evidence. Once thick glorious hair and long bangs that had once hidden half of the boy's face was gone, replaced by a few dry, straggling strands that hung limp and lifelessly against a face that was a merely a skull wrapped in skin. Trowa's eyes, now mercifully closed, were so sunken into that ghastly face that they appeared to be permanently shadowed.
This could not be Trowa! And yet, there was no doubt. None whatsoever.
Silently, Catherine padded into the room and gracefully folded herself into an overstuffed recliner that was besides the bed. She reached out and brushed one thin, ruined lock of hair out of her brother's face. Carefully, as if afraid to break or damage, she took one of he brother's skeletal hands into her own. For a moment she held on, struggling for composure.
"Trowa." she called gently, "Trowa, can you hear me? You have a visitor... Please... Duo has come to say... hello."
She had almost said, "Duo had come to say good bye", but she stopped herself just in time. They both knew he wouldn't last much longer. But why say it out loud? Better to ignore the fact. Better to lie, to ignore the truth, to pretend.
Trowa's sister glanced over at Duo who stood rooted in the open doorway to that cheerfully decorated, terribly depressing room. He could not bring himself to move any closer. She nodded her head and jerked in the direction of the man on the bed, clearly indicating that Duo should come over.
Duo forced himself to move across the room, his footsteps stiff, jerky. The heels of the boots he wore rung dully against the wooden floor, almost seeming to echo. The sound was too loud, seemed out of place in this room that smelled of impending doom, of imamate Death. He finally managed to reach the bedside without fainting or making too much a fool of himself.
(Get a hold of yourself, man. This is Trowa! Not some weird dried up mummy! It's Trowa, and you better get a grip on yourself. Your falling apart won't help him feel any better about what he is going through! So just get a grip! Oh! His eyes! Their opening!)
Indeed they were opening. Duo gazed deep into those green orbs and was relieved that Trowa's eyes had remained the same. He still had the most beautiful pair of emerald eyes that Duo had ever seen. With a tiny sigh of relief Duo down at his fellow pilot. He even managed to smile, really smile.
"Hey, Trowa! Long time no see, man! How are you doing?"
The skeleton that was Trowa managed a faint smile, a bare tilting at the corner of his mouth. But his eyes danced almost merrily. He tried to speak, but was unable to find his voice.
He gave it another go and was able to croak out a barely audible, "Okay."
That one little word had cost a great deal of effort. Still, he knew he was rapidly running out of time. He did his best to ease the minds of the two people in his room.
"Good...to see... you."
Suddenly, his eyes flickered into the direction of the distant corner. They widened slightly with shock and... Happiness. The weak Trowa somehow managed a real smile.
"Quatre...!"
The word was barely a whisper, but so full of love and adoration, it pulled at the hearts of both Catherine and Duo. They exchanged a quick glance. Trowa's time had apparently run out.
"Quatre...I...missed you so...much..."
Trowa seemed to listen for a few moments, his head cocked to one side in intent concentration. There was a long silence, then, Trowa spoke the last words anyone would ever hear him say.
"Y-yes...I'm ready to go...with...you."
Those beautiful green eyes fluttered closed and Trowa's breath was released from his body with a tired sigh. Slowly, his head lolled to one side, his few remaining strands of hair falling into his face. His chest never rose to take in another life sustaining breath. He had gone, hopefully to where he could be together with his true love.
Had Quatre really been in the room in that last moment? Who could really say? But Duo hoped with all his heart that it might be so. Yes, it must have been so. He believed, believed with all his mind, body and soul. Trowa and Quatre were together again, this time for all eternity.
Duo crossed over to where Catherine was sitting. He knelt besides her and wrapped his strong arms about her. She buried her head into his chest. Her throat worked convulsively a few times.
"He's really gone..." was all she managed to say before the knowledge finally registered.
Her grief spilled forth and she released her hot tears, but not for the last time, oh no, not for the last time.
"I know..." Duo's grip tightened slightly and his own tears streamed hot down his face to fall on the bowed head of the woman in his arms. "I'm so sorry.... Catherine..."
CHAPTER TWO
