yellowhorde

Shirley forwarded this to me and I thought I'd share.
Enjoy!

Enough of that Sissy Crap!
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems
That always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises
That actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy
Little smiley faces on this card -
Just the stone cold truth

1. When you are sad -- I will
Help you get drunk and plot revenge
Against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will
Try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will
Know you are plotting something
That I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will
Rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will
Tell you horrible stories about
How much worse it could be,
Until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will
Use little words.

7. When you are sick -- I will
Tell you to stay the hell away from me
Until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will
Point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath....
I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask.
'Because you're my friend!'

Friendship is like
Peeing your pants: Everyone can see it,
But only you can
Feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10
Of your closest friends,
Then get depressed
Because you can only think of 4.